It seems I update, every month where there is a blue moon or something. Lol , oh well. I'm sure if anyone is actually reading this anyways, nor do I know if anyone is reading any of my other journals. What I do realize is this is probably more a stress relief for me, I try not to be cut copy paste to all journals, except when its important to do so. So I think this will turn into the Diannaish that no one understands, except for a few, it will probably make little to no sense to you. Oh well. Think what you will.

Sitting alone, left to my thoughts.

I hate what I remeber and what I see.

Never happy, but always happy. Satisfied but not.

Alone in a crowd, standing watching, waiting, following, leading.

Never ending cycle.

Thinking, analysing, can be dangerous when left alone to ones thoughts.

Will I always be alone, walking along the paths of the dark forests.

The fires slowly burning lower.

Time slowing down and stoping.

When past and future meet and begin to intertwine.

Strange calls in the night, reality and dreams intermingle and become one.

When does it end?

Where does it start?

Why am I here?

Where am I going?

Are all the questions that I am asking myself

Is there anyone that could help me solve the puzzles that keep building and adding more pieces

What am I to do when everything has built up so high that I am drowning in it all?

Swimming

Barely staying above the surface

Being pulled by the tide that sweeps me away

Into oblivion

Darkness

Deep

Fear

Away from the light

Lost and alone

Needing help

But never asking

For it

Why do I bother, talking, when nothing I say makes any sense. They just end up more meddled then they were before. Whats wrong with black, its the one colour that goes with anything, and is easiest to hide in. Blues and green and reds and violets are nice, but you can't wear too much without looking strange. I'm fine, at least thats what I keep telling myself